Behind-these-eyes

A very long one shot that is now approaching 10, 000 words. I'm done the semester and am actually a little bored for once, thank God. Get ready for it.

A few months ago my computer crashed and I lost my entire Seeing Through Tears file, including the last chapter that has taken me forever. Needless to say, I was absolutely heartbroken. I was pretty close to finishing the chapter too. I also lost all the new revisions for the chapters that I have posted. I got up to chapter eight. So now I’m starting over again, beginning with editing all the chapters before I re-write the last chapter, because I want to get a feel for the story again. Sorry guys. I did manage to salvage the Seth one shot. I posted a snippet in my last entry, and I will post the short story sometime... hopefully soon. I just can’t believe the entire file disappeared, along with my poetry file. It’s taken me months just to write this entry because I couldn’t believe it for awhile. I’d hoped it would magically turn up one day. But I bought a new laptop this week, and dug through all my files, and it’s not there, and now that computer is gone. The story will be done, just Keep me on your authors update and let it be for now, I guess. Some words of encouragement would be nice. Thanks for your support.

So if you're a reader of STT and haven't read my profile on FP lately, I'm doing some serious editing on STT right now. I'm actually getting pretty excited about it. It's going smoothly so far. Today I'm starting summer courses at Douglas collage and I'm starting a class called Intro to Writing Fiction. I'm looking forward to it! I'm hoping it'll spark up my creativity again. Since I've been editing and doing major changes on past STT chapters, I haven't done much to the latest chapter. I think I just have one scene left and then I'm done, but I honestly what to polish STT first and get all the edited chapters up there first.

Anywho, I'm also dabbling with an STT prequel in Seth's POV. He's a little snipped of Seth's terrible day. He's not having much fun. Forgive him for his lack of patience with our favorite vegetarian. But i think it's a fun read. He's adorable when he's irritated.

One last note. How the heck do I do Jl cuts now? I have no idea, I can't figure it out. Someone please tell me! I'm so clueless. lol. So yeah, now for a really long post:

X

( Seth Cookies and Skid Brownies )

 

I think it’s time I finally posted this thing, don’t you agree?

Some good news. I’ve made good progress on the story today and I’m finally over the rough patch that I’ve been struggling with for the past several months. All I can say is, thank you, God. I can finally move the story along.

And so, it is now September, most definitely. I’ve been working on the story, just to let you all know. It’s half way done. I’ll finish the chapter when I finish the chapter. That’s all for now. Good day.

I feel very horrible about keeping you all uninformed and left in the fog. I’m very sorry. Especially for those of you who are in true faith now that I have completely thrown out the idea of Seeing Through Tears, out of my life. The fact still remains that no, I have not given up on my writing. I’m just horribly busy right now.

I mean, really. My average day starts at 5am, when I get up for work. And when I’m not working (which is full time) I’m spending all my time with my friends. Why? Because a lot of them are leaving for a really long time, really soon. For example, my best friend in the entire world is leaving on August 14th, to go to university. The next time I will see her, will be on Christmas Eve. I’m a year older than her, and I’ve known this girl since she was six months old! She lives three houses down from me. My best friend in the entire world is like my sister, and in two weeks, I wont be able to call her up and ask if she wants to hang out, because she will be on the other side of North America. Hell, I can’t even simply call her up every time I feel like it to talk or tell her about my worries. It’ll cost too much.

And she’s not the only friend who’s going away soon. My friends Justin and Steph just got married yesterday. It was beautiful, and I am totally happy for them, but I’m going to miss them, because they’re leaving for school too, as soon as they come back from the honeymoon. But yeah, it was a great wedding. And I ended up catching the bouquet… without even meaning too. … bah!

And there’s more. but yeah. That’s all for now. Emelia, my best friend just called, so I’m going to go spend time with her, cuz I wont be able to in two weeks.

I just wanted to say that I’m sorry to keep you waiting and raising hopes. So I’m just gonna say, come back and check out my LJ in September, because I’m aiming to REALLY have the chapter done then. I’ll be able to have some time to work on it after August 14th.

Much love, and apologies, TingPing

I’ve been having a horrible week. I wont go into details, but for one, I burnt my hand and now I have nasty blisters on my fingers that hurt like hell.

Just another update to tell you I’m alive. And having serious writer’s block, because I can’t get past one question. One flipping question that when I can finally figure out the correct answer for the certain character, and the right wording, I can FINALLY move onto the next section of the chapter, and hopefully not have writer’s block THEN.

So I decided to ask for opinions here, and then maybe I’ll find my answer, because I’m as about as lost here as a camel attempting to surf.

So, question: why is it important to keep in touch with your inner child?

This post is for all you wonderful people who continue to wonder if I’m still alive. Well, now dears, I assure you, I am indeed still breathing, as is my story, Seeing Through Tears. Although, my poor little fiction’s health is terrible enough to be sent to the emergency room, if you know what I mean. Forever, I have been struggling with this chapter. But finally, I’ve decided to smack some sense into myself.

“Tina,” I said to myself, approximately five minutes ago (and yes, I do believe I am going insane), “you’re a freaking moron. You know what you’re going to write, so stop stalling. Just fucking write it down and then edit it when you’re done. If people don’t like it, that’s their problem. You did your best.”

And then I promptly smacked myself for not having that conversation with… myself… sooner, and saving us all some time.

Though, I’m afraid that in my lack over writing over this past time, I’ve lost touch with my style a bit, so I’ve decided that I’m going to write for an hour a day from this day forward. (And I hope to keep to this more often then not.) What I write won’t always be STT related though. I’ve had a few other stories on my mind. But STT is high on the list of what I want to work on.

So no, I’m not ready to give up on this story yet. And I’m sorry. You’re all so awesome for still being here and supporting the story. I still continue to fail to understand why the story has so many loyal readers, what with all its flaws, but that’s okay. I enjoy writing it, and you guys seem to enjoy reading it, so it all works out.

Still no due date, but I figure for right now, it’s better that way.

Since you guys asked so nicely for a snippet, I shall give you one. I could have actually posted this two weeks ago when you started to ask but... what can I say? I'm a procrastinator.

Oh yeah, I also discovered and finally realized yesterday that I'm actually a really angry person. And a bitch. Ironic, when most people who meet me think I'm really nice. ANd yeah, I guess I am kind. I mean, the last thing I want is to hurt someone's feelings, but the fact remains - I have a horrible temper. damn. 

Well, whatever. Here's a snippet.

Another post, but no, not the one you're looking for, when I tell you the chapter is finished and posted.

I feel horrible, and I'm sorry. I keep getting your hopes up, and making promises that I try hard to keep, but in the end they were impossible.

I'll finish the chapter at my own pace, and that's that. It's just hard when life is busy, and I have so much on my mind.

I'll post and let you know when I REALLY am near finished. Hopefully that'll be in about 2 weeks.

Again, sorry to disappoint. Really. You guys are so supportive and nice, and I want this chapter to be up and done for you guys, but i also want it to be done right. So, I'll work on it in my spare time, and try and put as much as I can into it.

I’m feeling very proud of myself and the progress of this chapter. I planned it all out, and even wrote how much I should write each day on my calendar. I’m a little behind because I keep having to go back, reread and rewrite things, because I want it to be at it’s best. And also because it’s becoming one of those chapters that’s growing to be twice as long as I expected. (I just don’t know, nor want to cut it down). It should be finished by Saturday, and ready for edit. So, that’s the plan. I’m just trying my best and using all my spare time to finish this chapter.

And if I haven’t already said this, the name of the chapter is called, “These Foolish Games.”

Again, thanks for your support and reassured faith. You’re all so rad.

So... I'm worried that people are loosing faith in me. Not that I would too if I were you. But I want you guys to know that I'm working really hard to get this chapter up by next week. Although I've had a little fall out with STT, and ok I'll be honest, sometimes I cringe when I read previous chapters and wonder 'what the fuck was I thinking?" I really do love this story. It's important to me, and I'm pretty sure it always will be.

Yeah, so I’ve been working hard to finish this latest chapter, believe it or not. I think it will be ready to edit and post by sometime next week. Yay.

In other news, I’ve been bonding with my coworkers. WOW. I went to Stew’s farewell party on Friday, (he’s leaving us for the military. Best damn stock boy you’ll ever meet.) But yeah, Kyle was there, my brother’s best friend. It was interesting partying with him. He starting telling everyone I was his sister because my brother is like his brother and I’m his sister so yeah. Now everyone thinks we really are bother and sister now. Seriously. I’m also getting trained to be ‘The Baker’, but that’s hard when you go to work an hour late and with your trainer who is still sobering up a bit, mumbling about how she doesn’t give a fuck anymore. I made an ass of myself a lot that night, I know. But apparently people there think I’m awesome. I’m still paranoid and don’t believe that statement. Especially when Morgan said, “What the fuck Tina, you ARE awesome. You just need to drink more often!” Honestly, what does drinking have to do with my awesomeness? I’m even more skeptical of when some hot guy told me I was the cutest thing in the whole fucking world. Well fuck, and I thought care bears came before me. Who knew.

Yeah, some random shit for you there.

Today I went down town. Stopped by The Rock Shop (of course) and bought myself a Pink Floyd Sweatshirt. I’m in love.